I have to deal with dozens of different security vendor resellers on a day to day basis. One of the things I love to do is to torture the ones that are trying to sell me the be-all-end-all 100% secure product. The problem is that as long as humans are in the mix there will, and can never be, 100% security. It’s just not going to happen. But, time and again salesmen will hit me with the buzz words of the elevator pitch. “Real time”, “HIPAA Certified”, “SOX certified” and so on. I have seriously gotten to the point with the used car salesmen of the world where I have begun a disinformation campaign. Myrcurial and I have been slipping in non-words (a la Bush) into conversations with salesguys. Our favourite and first attempt is the word “compliancy”. We take our inspiration from Stephen Colbert and his word “truthiness”. I have slipped “compliancy” into a couple of conversations and it is a marvel to watch them pick it up and add it to their lexicon of bullshit. Give it a whirl with your friendly neighbourhood snake oil purveyor.
Tags: Compliancy, Stephen Colbert, Truthiness, Security Vendors
